i feel blah today. but i think ive been makings some progress (in an extremely fucked up way). so here are the goods:
1. i discovered chewing and spitting for the first time yesterday. did it lots.
2. went to the gym for the first time in maybe a year. burned 250cals. (im super out of shape so im trying to get into shape slowly)
3. turned down 2 invitations to go to my favorite restaurants yesterday and today
4. i halfway purged for the first time. i have a really strong cardiac sphincter i think (the muscle that keeps your food from your stomach from entering your esophagus. i never throw up. i've only been sick enough to vomit once in my life and ive only done it from drinking once in my life as well. i seriously cannot puke. i don't know how to do it. my body wont let me. but yesterday i got some of the water i chugged. pointless i know but progress none the less.
here are the bads:
1. i binged yesterday
2. i think my friends are starting to notice
im posting lots of thinspo today. (my internet magically started working so ive been looking at models alllll morning)
ps thanks for the lovely comments yesterday. i love you all. really. you guys know the ugliest part of me. thanks for the nice words. : )
