can you ever just be whelmed?

im still too busy to give a proper update. let me just tell you everything ive done today:

Made trips to walgreens, the recycling, american apparel.
Ichatted with the boy
Cleaned the ENTIRE HOUSE (everyone is coming for graduation on saturday)
Went to this honors reception to get my honors cord (summa cum laude, what whatttttt)
Cleaned my whole bathroom
Did a load of laundry

Now I have to go into work. My first time bartending. There's a huge special tonite and a party. im nervous.

weight: steady 120lbs. (again i'm really trying to focus on the positive in that even tho i've been TERRIBLE and binged for 4 days straight, i've never been able to maintain this weight. yay!)
cals: 280

i cheated a little. i had so much to do and wanted to start not eating again so i took a vyvanse. just a baby one. only 30mg. i have 3 left. i'm saving them for the next 3 days so that i wont eat at all these events i have to go to.

i dont know how i feel. proud of myself? yes. depressed and alone? yes. overwhelmed? yes.
it's like i have so much to do, i can't even process any of my emotions.


again. another post filled with nothing of substance. i promise i'll do better soon