fucked up shit

so the internet that i steal from my neighbors has been deactivated so it will be very difficult for me to post in the upcoming days until i come home (sunday).

ANYWAYS two nights ago I went to this bar with abunch of my girlfriends to see Rebirth Brass Band (I go to college in New Orleans). Great show, I love doing things distinctly New Orleans-y. Anyways the bar was super crowded and my ex happened to be standing right behind me.

Let me fill you all in a little bout this ex. He is the reason I'm ruined when it comes to relationships. Why I'm cynical. Why I don't believe what boys say. Basically in the 4 months that we dated he slept with around 15 other girls, sometimes coming back to fuck me right afterwards. This also included a little eiffel tower sesh with some slut in another sorority, a secret girlfriend who ended up transferring to my school (who's now oddly one of my closest friends) and other seriously, seriously fucked up shit. Here's the thing tho, he never was a dick to my face. SO sweet, complementary, schmoopy, etc. When I would find out about one or two of his acts of cheating, he always convinced me to take him back. I am a very VERY strong, independent, argumentative, STUBBORN girl who he somehow transformed into this weak, weak, weak person. My best friend even told me that she was disgusted with who I had become from dating him b/c I was so weak. Anyways I miraculously got out of the relationship (only after meeting his secret girlfriend and seeing how he had turned her into an even weaker girl) but it still effects me today.

So he was standing behind me and starts throwing ice at me. I ignore it.
He starts pushing me. I turn around and say 'What the fuck?' To which he replies, 'You're shaking your ass on me. Stop.' Ok this is a rediculously packed music club. I was standing close to him, along with 150 other fucking people and for the record was not 'shaking my ass on him.'
So he continues to push me. I ignore it.
The pushing turns into really hard shoving. I ignore it.
Then i stumble a little. Get fucking furious, turn around and push him as hard as I can.

Can I just pause here and say WHO THE FUCK PUSHES GIRLS. what kind of 6'5"/240lbs ASSHOLE feels the need to exert his strength by SHOVING a 120lbs girl. this is the kind of asshole im dealing with. SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP SHIT.

So thankfully my guyfriend who came with my stands up for me. a fight almost breaks out. my girlfriend is holding the asshole back and he pulls her arm off of him. things become more subdued and the asshole now moves to the side of me. I start crying. Not sobbing or anything, but you could see tears streaming down my face. Then I kept crying b/c i was so mad at myself for giving him the satisfaction of making me cry. I HATE HIM. Probably the only person I feel this strong of hatred for.

So thats what happened. I've been in kind of a bad mood all day yesterday from it. l;askdfoaiewnfaosdnfa;lsdkfja;lsdkj I'm still so furious.


i wish i would have broken my hand on his face.