aspirations

writing out my failure, while altho painful, has been helpful today. also i think it helped for me to plan out exactly what i would eat. so today i had:

cup of light soy milk: 70cals
100cal pack of popcorn: 100cals
power bar: 180cals
large coffee: 10cals?
2 pickels: 10cals

total: 370cals

pretty successful. i planned on having my power bar for dinner, and i did. but then my mom made beef stew and stayed in the kitchen till i was done. but all i did was cut everything up, move it around my plate, and eat 3 green beans. then i threw it away. i think she's getting suspicious tho. today she asked me if i had eaten anything.

oh and i almost forgot! both today and yesterday i went to the gym! yesterday i did about 500cals and today only 360. i was so shaky tho from the coffee and i started using slimquick which has an unspecified amt of caffeine. im so jittery on the inside. i dont like this feeling.

what i DO like is that i feel hungry. really hungry. i want to savor it.

im posting thinspo of what i aspire to be. beautifully thin and wreckless-looking. (at least as wreckless as a future med student can be...)